Befriending (BRC)

Sadness

First, If your sadness is putting yourself in danger, please call 911 or the emergency number in your country listed on this wikipedia link.

If you are sad because of a loss in your life, know it is important to let yourself feel sad. This is part of grieving, which is best done while working with a professional to guide you through the five stages of grieving.

If you are further along in your grieving, and for all others continue with the Befriending/Releasing/Choosing exercises for Sadness:

3 step Exercise  – click in order

Step 1 – Befriending your feelings: It is ok to have a good cry first because crying releases tension from the body. Then allow yourself to go into your sadness. Befriend sadness, embrace it, give it a hug like it is an old friend you know well and feel completely comfortable with, someone you love spending time with. Talk to your sadness, either internally or out loud – you can even write about your sadness if you would like, and say to yourself

“There you are, sadness. It’s okay that you’re here. I feel you within me. It makes a lot of sense that I feel this way, considering everything going on in my life. It is a lot. It’s okay—I understand why I feel this sadness. I will love myself through it with deep kindness, warmth, compassion, and gentle embrace. Taking care of myself and my sadness truly feels supportive.”

Then sit with your sadness in true compassion, understanding, and love. If your sadness needs more room because there is too much pressure, give it permission to extend within you, outside of you, and as far as it needs to go in order to release the intensity. Stay with this first step till you start to feel calmer and more comfortable. As a reminder make sure you only show kindness and compassion for your sadness and yourself. It is important to embrace all of you. Stay with this step until you truly have embraced yourself through it. When you feel ready, go to step 2

Step 2 – Release: This step is simple. All you have to do is repeat one sentence over and over again till you actually feel the sadness leave your body. This is what you say internally or out loud as many times you need to:

“I clear and release my sadness about (name what you are specifically sad about).” Or a more specific sentence: “I clear and release my sadness about (name the specific thing you are sad about) from within me and around me.”

When you spend some time on releasing the feeling of sadness, and you feel it is actually leaving, you can go to step 3.

Step 3 – Choosing: In this step you explore possibilities, positive choices, changing your feelings of sadness with baby steps to positive plan of action, or if all else fails find a positive distraction. It is important for this step to be positive to train your brain to transform negative feelings and thoughts into positive ways of thinking, feelings, and solutions. If you want guidance on how to figure out a different way of approaching your sadness, please click here for the Brain/Gut exercise. After you make your choice make sure you follow up  – Namaste!

 

This is how it works:

The brain is formed by automatic brain paths mostly in the first seven years of life. The paths are developed through repetitive feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions through experiences in our external and internal environment. Being aware of this means we can also teach the brain to become more conscious of other possibilities and choices different from our repetitive nature.

By using the Befriending, Releasing, Choosing technique, repeatedly, with each negative emotion that diminishes your life, you will slowly change your automatic brain paths. Your brain will slowly become more aware of options and possibilities that can allow you to find positive solutions. In return, self confidence will build inside of you because you are now backed by a creative and solution focused brain. It is important to remember to always do all three steps. The combination of these 3 steps is what will change your brain over time, and therefore your internal happiness.

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