Befriending (BRC)

Anger

First, it is important you understand what kind of anger you feel. If you feel anger to the extent you or someone else isn’t safe please call 911 or the emergency number in your country listed on this wikipedia link.

For all others continue with the Befriending/Releasing/Choosing (BRC) exercise for non-dangerous Anger:

3 step Exercise  – click in order

Step 1 – Befriending your feelings: Go into your feelings of anger. If you are alone, allow yourself to be angry. Scream into a pillow, grunt, cry, punch your pillow, anyway you want as long as it is safe for yourself and others. Then befriend your anger, embrace it, give your feelings of anger a hug like it is an old friend you know well and feel completely comfortable with, someone you love spending time with. Talk to your anger either internally or out loud. You can even write about your anger if you would like, and say

“Oh there you are anger, it is okay that you are here, I feel you. It makes a lot of sense that I feel this way. It is ok, I get it, and I will love myself through this with deep kindness, warmth, and compassion.”

Then sit with your feelings of anger in true compassion, understanding, and love. If the anger needs more room because there is too much pressure, give your feelings of anger more space within you, outside of you, and as far as it needs to go in order to release the intensity of the anger. This is an intention you process by either visualizing, thinking, feeling, or imagining. Stay with this first step till you start to feel calmer and more comfortable. As a reminder make sure you only show kindness and compassion for yourself. It is important to embrace your anger and all of you. Stay with this step until you truly have embraced yourself through it, in a way that you actually are able to have mentally and emotionally distanced yourself from your anger, and  When you feel ready, go to step 2

Step 2 – Release: This step is simple. All you have to do is repeat one sentence over and over again with the intention of letting your anger go. Do this till you actually feel the anger leaving your body. This is what you say internally or out loud as many times you need to:

“I clear and release my feelings of anger about (name what you are specifically angry about).” or a more specific sentence: “I clear my feelings of anger about (name the specific thing you are angry about) from within me and around me.”

When you spend some time on releasing the anger, and you feel it is actually leaving, you can go to step 3.

Step 3 – Choosing: In this step you explore possibilities, positive choices, changing your anger with baby steps to positive plan of action, or if all else fails find a positive distraction. It is important for this step to be positive to train your brain to transform negative feelings and thoughts into positive ways of thinking, feelings, and solutions. If you want guidance on how to figure out a different way of approaching your Anger, please click here for the Brain/Gut exercise. After you made your choice make sure you follow up  – Namaste!

This is how it works:

The brain is formed by automatic brain paths mostly in the first seven years of life. The paths are developed through repetitive feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions through experiences in our external and internal environment. Being aware of this means we can also teach the brain to become more conscious of other possibilities and choices different from our repetitive nature.

By using the Befriending, Releasing, Choosing technique, repeatedly, with each negative emotion that diminishes your life, you will slowly change your automatic brain paths. Your brain will slowly become more aware of options and possibilities that can allow you to find positive solutions. In return, self confidence will build inside of you because you are now backed by a creative and solution focused brain. It is important to remember to always do all three steps. The combination of these 3 steps is what will change your brain over time, and therefore your internal happiness.

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